I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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