He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
