i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
