So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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