I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
