the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
