is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
