He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
