She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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