Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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