I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
