the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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