Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
