Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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