Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
