Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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