im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Who died my cat blue again?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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