Three words: puerto rican gang bang
they need to just BURY HIM!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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