Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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