i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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