she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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