I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
