I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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