If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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