i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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