Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
