she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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