he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
