Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
please come you make the beer taste better
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
