So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
