I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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