He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
