Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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