Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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