Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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