His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
