Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
