I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
