Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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