i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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