he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
