I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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