so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
