He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
