people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
