mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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