at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
