there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how can u be prego again
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
