Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
