Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
