Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
